i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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