well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
