If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
