its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
