I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
