Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
