Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
