Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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