Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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