you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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