Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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