he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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