too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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