Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
