I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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