We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
