Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
