I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
