I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
