In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
