therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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