Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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