Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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