i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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