No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
