Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
