Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
