he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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