she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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