There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
