Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
