She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
