Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Farmville is her only friend.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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