My room smells like vodka and shame
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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