The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
