I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
