So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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