He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
