I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
