i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
