I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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