I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
