I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
