i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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