I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
