I wanna bring you to show and tell
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
