with your own penis?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
