My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
