what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
