the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
