Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize