My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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