I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
try to milk me bitch
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
