He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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