so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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