He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
