ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
