so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
