I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
