doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
