the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
