I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
