I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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