I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
