Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
